54% percent of closeted LGBT workers had to lie about their personal lives in the last year while only 21% of those who are out had to lie. These are statistics from a recently published HRC report (see link at end of article) which talks about LGBT treatment and attitudes in the workplace. While still in the closet, I had to lie constantly at work about my personal life so that my fellow coworkers would not know that I was gay. Fear of how I would be treated was my main motivation for not coming out at work, while 2/3 of LGBT employees say that one of their reasons is that they believe that sexual orientation is a private issue.
My belief is and was that being gay is my identity. The “gay lifestyle” is part of my being and there should be no reason to hide it. Fear of rejection, fear of being stereotyped, fear of being fired, and fear of being too liberal in a conservative work environment were all bundled into my fear of being caught. I was also really terrified that I would flaunt my sexuality if I came out. Along with these issues, the HRC also identifies an issue that affects 51% of those still in the closet: the fear of making other people [at work] feel uncomfortable. I feel that those who will pass judgment against me will make for a very uncomfortable work environment, especially one that is hostile and not conducive to a team environment.
Lying is a strong component to those who are not out in their place of work. Many reasons have been identified as being those that prevent people from coming out. I think we have all had to lie at some point in our careers to hide our sexual orientation. Of course you are lying about your sexual orientation, but what about the fact that you lied about having a partner/boyfriend/girlfriend or that you went to drag night at the local gay bar? Unfortunately, the only counterpart deep-seeded secret that I can think of in the straight world is that of hiding a spousal problem like alcoholism. Both are deep, painful issues which we need to handle. Is coming out at work the answer for those of LGBT persuasion?
No one has all of the answers. I won’t mince words, being out and gay (not happy) at work is extremely difficult in many environments. It will ultimately be our own choice on whether to come out at work. It usually a choice. For me, I was bursting at the seams to come out. For others, it is just a lot less of a pain in the butt to stay in the closet. Lying about your personal life is also a choice. Being gay is not. The best advice is to judge, based on your own situation, whether you should come out or not. We must not condemn those who have to lie to keep their privacy. Also, we must accept those who choose to stay closeted at work as it is the safe way to go.
Unfortunately, the best way to introduce normal, well-adjusted LGBT persons to straight people is to come out at work. That would give us the deepest penetration into the straight game called work. The more people that become acclimated to us, the more we can be accepted. We will not get closer towards universal acceptance without much pain and strife. Stopping the lying and coming out with honesty at work, my friends, is truly the first step for us to obtain the rights we are lacking. Through tolerance, then true acceptance we will be recogni What do you think?
Statistics by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) in their new report: State of the Workplace for LGBT Employees.
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Lying from the Closet @work
54% percent of closeted LGBT workers had to lie about their personal lives in the last year while only 21% of those who are out had to lie. These are statistics from a recently published HRC report (see link at end of article) which talks about LGBT treatment and attitudes in the workplace. While still in the closet, I had to lie constantly at work about my personal life so that my fellow coworkers would not know that I was gay. Fear of how I would be treated was my main motivation for not coming out at work, while 2/3 of LGBT employees say that one of their reasons is that they believe that sexual orientation is a private issue.
My belief is and was that being gay is my identity. The “gay lifestyle” is part of my being and there should be no reason to hide it. Fear of rejection, fear of being stereotyped, fear of being fired, and fear of being too liberal in a conservative work environment were all bundled into my fear of being caught. I was also really terrified that I would flaunt my sexuality if I came out. Along with these issues, the HRC also identifies an issue that affects 51% of those still in the closet: the fear of making other people [at work] feel uncomfortable. I feel that those who will pass judgment against me will make for a very uncomfortable work environment, especially one that is hostile and not conducive to a team environment.
Lying is a strong component to those who are not out in their place of work. Many reasons have been identified as being those that prevent people from coming out. I think we have all had to lie at some point in our careers to hide our sexual orientation. Of course you are lying about your sexual orientation, but what about the fact that you lied about having a partner/boyfriend/girlfriend or that you went to drag night at the local gay bar? Unfortunately, the only counterpart deep-seeded secret that I can think of in the straight world is that of hiding a spousal problem like alcoholism. Both are deep, painful issues which we need to handle. Is coming out at work the answer for those of LGBT persuasion?
No one has all of the answers. I won’t mince words, being out and gay (not happy) at work is extremely difficult in many environments. It will ultimately be our own choice on whether to come out at work. It usually a choice. For me, I was bursting at the seams to come out. For others, it is just a lot less of a pain in the butt to stay in the closet. Lying about your personal life is also a choice. Being gay is not. The best advice is to judge, based on your own situation, whether you should come out or not. We must not condemn those who have to lie to keep their privacy. Also, we must accept those who choose to stay closeted at work as it is the safe way to go.
Unfortunately, the best way to introduce normal, well-adjusted LGBT persons to straight people is to come out at work. That would give us the deepest penetration into the straight game called work. The more people that become acclimated to us, the more we can be accepted. We will not get closer towards universal acceptance without much pain and strife. Stopping the lying and coming out with honesty at work, my friends, is truly the first step for us to obtain the rights we are lacking. Through tolerance, then true acceptance we will be recogni What do you think?
Statistics by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) in their new report: State of the Workplace for LGBT Employees.
Related posts