I am a gay man.  It is part of my genetic makeup, personality, and life.  I’m not “all gay, all the time,” but want people to realize that I have a characteristic that is not typical of a stuffy office worker.  While I certainly don’t consider myself “special” for being gay, I do wish that I could be known as just an ordinary guy who happens to be gay.

While our personal lives shouldn’t necessarily be the fodder of office chat, they are.  For years I had this major problem with “fitting in” with the people I worked with because I was in the closet.  It can be very hard to be content living that lie.  Unfortunately we don’t have rainbow flags tattooed on our foreheads and some of us are not easily pegged as being gay.

What I’m getting at is this: you have to make it your business to tell people that you work with that you are gay.  That should not make it the business of someone else.  If they choose to make your personal life and the fact that you are gay an issue, they probably have bigger issues.  You can be out without invading the lives of your coworkers.  That is the way to it.  Be out, but don’t throw it in their face unless you are prepared for a fight.

http://www.hrc.org/degrees_of_equality/index.asp

Often your company, especially if they are big, will have certain policies regarding professional conduct at work.  Perhaps your company has an ethics group or escalation procedures for internal problems.  Maybe there is a human resources committee that handles workplace policy violations.  I would certainly recommend that you do not report any misconduct anonymously.  You will probably get farther with a personal story that an anonymous one.

The complaint hierarchy:

1. Ask the person to stop telling the jokes, saying they are offensive to you and are not appropriate for the workplace.
2. If you are uncomfortable confronting the offensive person, try talking to your boss to see if she or he will do something about it.  You can ask that your boss keeps your name confidential.
3. If your are not comfortable with either of the first two steps or they did not work, confront that person’s boss.  Perhaps your manager just didn’t care because he or she was not their employee.
4. The next thing to try would be going to your local human resources representative and explaining the problem.  It would be best to do this in person, but is most careful to present in writing.  I would follow up a written complaint with an in-person visit.
5. Next, escalate the issue to a human resources manager and tell them that it is creating a “hostile work environment.”  Those three words will elicit action.  The company will not want a lawsuit on their hands.  You have every right to be prevented from abuse at work.
6. The final point of escalation would be to go to a company’s ethics board or your local business unit head or, if a small company, the president or CEO.

Photo by a flickr user, found at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/freya_gefn/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Employers may not ask job applicants about the existence, nature, or severity of a disability. Applicants may be asked about their ability to perform specific job functions. A job offer may be conditioned on the results of a medical examination, but only if the examination is required for all entering employees in similar jobs. Medical examinations of employees must be job related and consistent with the employer’s business needs. ~US EEOC

After having been diagnosed with a chronic neuropathic facial pain condition a little over a year ago, I realize how important it is to work with your employer regarding your medical condition.  In the beginning, I needed to take quite a few 1/2 days of vacation to go to doctors’ appointments (yes, that is more than one doctor).  My managers were thankfully kind enough to let me use my vacation time to seek the proper treatment.  They have also been understanding of sick time usage… as far as I know.  I have only disclosed that I have a chronic pain condition, not the entire details.

While my condition, trigeminal neuralgia, is not considered a disability by the US government, I would certainly consider telling a future employer that I have a condition that may require me to take x amount of time off.  Hopefully they are willing to work with you.  Luckily, there are many protections under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) for people suffering debilitating conditions such as mine.  I have provided links to some great resources below.  For those with HIV/AIDS it can be a struggle to hold down a job due to medication side effects, illness, etc.  Should you tell your employer?

As you see in the quotation above, your current or future employer cannot ask about your medical condition(s).  You should only tell them that you have an disability that will make certain demands on your position.  It is illegal for them to fire or not hire you simply because you have an illness or disability.  While I am not a lawyer, I would suggest that you be upfront with a future or current employer so that your needs can be taken into account without disciplinary action up to and including dismissal.  It is truly a moral issue which you must decide.  Tell or don’t tell.  In the end, it is probably best to inform human resources of the issue.

Disability.gov

Social Security Administration: List of Impairments

SSA: When is HIV a disability?

Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990, Revised

US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission: Americans with Disabilities Act

A few highlights:

• 1/3 of Fortune 500 companies prohibit discrimination based on gender identity.
• 51% of LGBT employees hide their gender identity at work.
• 5% of those 18-24 years of age are out at work.
• 54% of those not out at work lie about their personal lives.
• 58% of LGBT employees report experiencing continuing jokes and derogatory comments at work.
• Just because a company says that they are LGBT friendly does not mean its staff is so accepting.
• “Dropping pink flags,” as I call it, is the primary way to come out at work.

I could continue this for another 10 pages.  There are many topics in this that I wish to discuss and will do so over the coming weeks and months.  If you would like to participate, please feel free to write a piece for this site!  You may also submit an anonymous article.

http://www.hrc.org/degrees_of_equality/index.asp

A similar, if not the same bill was introduced in the waning years of the reign of George W. Bush (2007).  This bill had the best chance of passing as its predecessors did not have the support required to pass such a bill.  The bill died in committee for a few reasons.  First, the final draft of the bill did not contain language that would prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual identity, which excludes transgender and intersex persons from legal protection under the law.  Many Democrats did not think that it was a strong enough bill and would only vote on a bill with those protections.  The bill was originally trans-inclusive, but it was thought that there would not be enough votes to get it passed with that stipulation.  Also, Bush would never have signed the bill into law.  It was a futile attempt, especially during a nasty presidential campaign that ran LGBT issues under the bus in an effort to win over the “moral” and God-fearing.

Representative Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was an ardent supporter of this bill.  He supported both the trans- and non-trans- inclusive bills.  He reasoned that having a bill that only protected lesbians and gay men was better than nothing.  While many see Mr. Frank as a fat, loud, cranky guy from a leftist state… umm.  Let me try that again.  Barney Frank is an outspoken House leader with decades of legislative experience.  He was, I believe, the first “out” person in Congress.  He has championed the rights of the LGBT community more than most people could dream.  His presence up on Capitol Hill is an ardent reminder that we gay and lesbian citizens do have the ability to be elected to public office and have our voices heard.

Whatever form it takes, if ENDA is to be passed, we MUST support it.  I am not talking politically here, just from the standpoint of a fellow LGBT citizen that can get fired for being gay.  My opinion is that the final bill will not be trans-inclusive.  At this point, Gender Identity Disorder (transgenderism[sic]) is still classified as a mental illness.   That will be a major sticking point.  The American Psychiatric Association appears to be discussing the declassification of this as a “disease” which “affects” transgender individuals.  Don’t expect an answer before mid to late next year.  Until then, let us see where the U.S. Congress takes us.

For more information on gender identity disorder, go to your local library [!?] and check page 576 of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision[2000] (DSM-IV-TR).  Echelon Magazine can be found at: http://www.echelonmagazine.com/

Photo from a Flickr user under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license.

Unless you are in porn or the world’s oldest profession, your sexual orientation is not going to stop you from attaining your goals.  One thing we have to struggle with in many aspects of the straight world is that homophobic people will see us as damaging, deviant, or festering.  I will now present a few tongue-in-cheek examples.  In the classroom gay teachers are going to corrupt the youth of America by spreading their faggotry and butt sexed lies!  Pro athletes worry about the gays looking at their dongs in the locker room.  A bull dyke can swing around a jack hammer but a fey male can only wield the scissors in a salon.

These examples may seem a bit extreme, but they are some of the stereotypes about jobs that people have against gays and lesbians.  Just because we may love someone of the same sex does not make us unable to perform certain tasks.  In the politically correct world it is fine to say that a male hairdresser is gay but defiantly odd to say that another is straight!  Straight men can make good beauticians just as well as gay men can work construction jobs.  Our sexual orientation does not limit our ability to perform any job.  Anyone who tells us otherwise is ignorant and certainly, not just homophobic, but afraid of the gays.

The topic of religion has been a bone of contention in the LGBT community for countless decades.  These issues really started coming to a head in the 1970s.  The 80s brought these issues to the forefront for the national media with the rise of the Moral Majority, the creation of the immaculate concept of “family values,” and HIV/AIDS.  Most of us know that some people believe that things such as gay marriage will lead to bestiality and adoption corrupts the children of gays and lesbians.  These vitriolic subjects disgust most of us.  They are not true and are the worst type of prejudice and racism (as in homophobia).

Whether straight or gay, the topic of religion at work is extremely uncomfortable.  I have found it very interesting working with a minister in an office environment.  We know that we have our differences in opinion, but must work together despite our feelings.  It was a struggle for me to come to terms with the fact that a person at work does not agree with “homosexuality.”  Does that mean that she or he doesn’t like me?  Does she or he despise me?  Luckily, no.

This brings us to the question of how to deal with the religion we see and hear about at work.  If you are comfortable with your relationship to whatever god you pray to, good.  That does help ease the tension.  We have to ignore what we see.  Do not confront it.  Do not acknowledge it.

I always to hate to tell people to leave things alone, but this is a topic best ignored.  Hopefully, if we do not feed into the insanity of religious conversation at work, we will feel more comfortable with our own beliefs.  The last thing you want to hear from someone is that they want to refer you to Focus on the Family for spiritual help with your “lifestyle.”

Associate Director, Career Development
Out & Equal Workplace Advocates

LGBTCareerLink

An LGBT Employee Resource Group at a major U.S. corporation survives threats and attacks only to go on and persuade the company to grant domestic partner benefits to all employees. Historical perspective that took place in San Francisco, California. Describes the early days of the workplace equality movement.

Monday morning, 1991. Frank and I settled into our shared office at the San Francisco headquarters of a major corporation. We were still flying high from an inspiring Pride Weekend. Sipping his latté, he glanced at his monitor, “Julie! Look at the Intranet!” I quickly logged into the corporate Intranet, a newly deployed technology tool, and read, “This Company should never hire bull daggers, dykes (sic) and faggots.” I read on. “I was humiliated to see our vehicles on the nightly news festooned with pansies and dykes.” And then, “How did these fairies and male ladies (sic) get hired in the first place?” and “I was humiliated by our company supporting this sideshow of misfits.”

Like moths to flames, Frank and I logged on each successive morning as hundreds of similar messages rained down, each one digitally signed with the author’s name and department. When remarks escalated to threats, we suspected that the posters didn’t realize they could be identified, since Intranets were so new. Comforted by assumed anonymity, the attacks went free-style. When our newly-formed LGBT Employee Resource Group (ERG) had dressed in company uniforms and flanked a large company vehicle in the Pride Parade, we’d been naïve not to prepare for this onslaught—if one can ever prepare for insults and threats on the company’s dime.

Two weeks into the attacks, our ERG gathered to create a response. Like secret refugees in an underground bunker, we met off company property and off the clock. Many were scared they’d lose their jobs in an impending witch hunt. Many were angry and wanted vengeance. Some said we never should have marched. By meeting’s end, we agreed on only one action item—we would take our concerns to the highest ranking company official who would listen.

The head of human resources met us at 5pm in a company auditorium. Both LGBT and allies from their own respective ERG’s attended. First we heard a speech, very canned and polished, stating boiler plate sentiments about our great value to the company. The official pointedly never used the words “Gay,” “Lesbian” or any other relevant term.

When he opened for comments, a tsunami washed over the podium. Flanked by his HR colleagues, he stood like a wooden post listening as two themes emerged: Why did the company allow the offensive postings to continue without taking action? Why had the company treated LGBT employees differently from other employees who were protected by company policy?

Some angry employees threatened to go to the gay press, which for a company headquartered in a city known the world over as a gay Mecca, meant risking embarrassing boycotts and protests. The meeting ended on a sour emotional note when employees spontaneously stood and turned their backs on the HR official when he said, “You people have to understand that many employees disapprove of your lifestyle. Why do you force yourselves on them?”

By next morning, the employee forum was closed with this statement:  “Due to inappropriate remarks posted by a small number (sic) of employees, this forum is closed.”

Many ERG members believed the removal of the employee forum punished all employees for the actions of specific employees. While eventually HR sent around a memo encouraging workplace courtesy, many employees felt the punishment did not fit the crime.

Yet, because we stood fast together as an ERG, for the first time, company officials realized that LGBT employees were a true part of the company and needed to be treated as such. As our ERG meetings grew, we became the fire that caused the company to become one of the first to grant full domestic partner benefits, including granting pension benefits to surviving domestic partners.

Today this same company remains a strong supporter of its LGBT employees and has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to causes in support of our equality.

I believe that presenting a class on accepting a diverse workforce could be helpful.  There are many LGBT issues that can come up at work, as we’ve seen on this site.  Training could help ease tensions between employees of different races, sexual orientations, sexual identities, and even religions.

Sometimes people need to be forced to think about their actions.  Inadvertent anti-gay comments are made all the time.  How many of us have called something gay or retarded because they seemed dumb or stupid?  We have all done it.  Actions such as these do hurt people.  If education is available to help people understand the fact that certain actions or words do hurt, maybe they would refrain from them.

While I agree that diversity is very important in any company, you have to keep personal feelings at bay when hiring.  As a computer programming professional, I must obtain and retain the best talent possible.  Experiences counts most.  Of course, if you find a good gay programmer, hop on him or her!

Hiring someone with a good work ethic and personality is also important because you want the person to fit in with the work environment.  It’s always a judgment call and one must make a choice that will be best for the company’s needs.  It is not fair to hire one person over another due to a special trait or quality (such as sexual orientation).  People with the best skills should be considered first.  That is what makes it fair.  Too much of business is about hiring kiss asses, brownnosers, and friends who know nothing.  We should stand for equality.  That is what I have always tried to do.  I would ask you all to do so too!

Am I seeing this as too black-and-white?  What you you think?

Imagine working for a company through an employment agency on a six month contract that grants a “right to hire” at the end of the contract.  Next, imagine having to interview (again) for the position in which you have been working, after everyone has applauded your work.  Third, let us pretend that you go through a grueling interview with the president/owner of the company.  During that interview, you learn that this person does not trust you.  To beat that, there is the talk about how you will be working for a Christian company with high Christian values and morals.

Personally, I have been a Lutheran (protestant Christian) for all 29 years of my life.  Did I mention that the interviewee may have said during the interview that he has no problems adhering to Christian values but does not like people who go against the principles of caring for your neighbors, kindness, charity, and acceptance of differing views in the face of God to hurt others?  After that enormous sentence, ponder this: what if the interviewer told the gay guy that he didn’t want to see or hear anything gay?

Jokes aside, sometimes we have to beat the system in order to land a job.  Especially in these trying economic times we must turn off the stereotype for a few hours and pull out the parts of us that we unfortunately portray.  Here are my pointers for guys and gals on how to clean up for a straight-acting interview.

Gays.

• Do not wear the following colors: pink, purple, fucsia, lime green, indigo, etc.
• Do not wear a tie from Hermes or one that has any type of cartoon character or animal on it.  When in doubt, go for a solid color or a traditional pattern so long as it is the only pattern in your outfit.
• Do not wear anything from the second-hand store that could be considered “retro.”
• Do not wear glasses with small wire frames (think, John Lennon) or any made of plastic.  Stick to “normal” sized glasses that are wire framed or rimless.
• Absolutely forget about having a hairstyle that looks like it came out of Details.
• Do not fully cross your legs.
• Minimize hand gestures.
• Stiffen that limp wrist.
• If offered a beverage, keep that pinkie finger in!
• Greet your interviewers with a firm, manly handshake.
• Wear a plain suit with a solid cotton shirt (white or light blue) and leather shoes.
• Fine Italian, hand-stitched suits should only be worn for high-level sales positions.
• Leave the pocket square at home with your concealer.

Gals.

• Act like a lady.
• Shave your armpits.
• Shave your legs.
• Wax your upper lip.
• Wear natural looking makeup.
• Wear a bra.
• Sit with your legs or ankles crossed.
• Wear a little bit of a heal, but not hooker shoes.
• Your shoes should be dainty, not clunky.
• Wear a nice dress or business suit with a skirt or pants.
• Pantyhose, knee highs, etc. are just not in fashion.
• Brush your hair.
• Consider a silk camisole underpinning or a blouse with feminine details.

Note:  this was meant to be a little funny.  Unfortunately, I usually have to explain my jokes.

About a year after we broke up, another guy was leaving the company, so I went to his goodbye party.  I didn’t really know the guy that was leaving, but I could hardly pass up a happy hour.  One of my former boyfriend’s co-workers came up to me and said, “So, you and X really were dating, weren’t you?”  I was pretty dumbfounded.  As I tend to tell the truth, I said that we had dated.

Most of the people around us at the bar were not surprised.  They had heard it all before in the rumor mill.  Their surprise was that I was gay, not that their closeted co-worker was gay.  X’s co-workers wanted him to come out.  He was… umm… flaming.  People do come in more colorful, effeminate shades, but he was pretty obvious to everyone.  Believe it or not, many times your co-workers will guess your sexual orientation before you confess it.

The real moral of the story is that no matter how descrete you are, people will gossip if they think you are gay, let alone dating another guy at work.  Surprisingly, the only people who did not know that X and I dated were my immediate co-workers.

Now, I know that this is more of a personal story than an article, but I gotta have fun sometimes!  I’m also looking for guest bloggers.  Unfortunately, a rare chronic pain disorder keeps me from blogging all the time.  Stories, anecdotes, articles, poetry… I’ll take any of it!

I’m asking anyone out there to please contribute your stories and articles about being gay at work, whether out or in the closet.  We really need a good resource created by ordinary people for ordinary people.

Tomorrow, a new article covering something a little less somber!

This woman found me on the Internet and discovered that I was gay.  She was the first person to ever ask if the company I worked for offered domestic partner benefits.  It caught me off guard to say the least.  In fact, she said, “Do you have D-P benefits”?  Right away I knew that she was a lesbian.  We somehow came about to mutually understanding our shared same-sex orientation.  It really made me think about how we should ask a potential employer about domestic partner benefits.  I say this because it still is illegal in most places to discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

For me, asking about domestic partner benefits during an interview would be worse than the interview itself.  Fortunately, larger companies, and even some smaller ones, will list the availability of domestic partner benefits on their websites, but not all.  I may be totally exposed on the Internet, but directly confronting the issue of my sexual orientation during an interview is terrifying at best.  The easy way out is if you are told about the company’s benefits during the interview, but that may not happen, especially if you are having a technical interview.

For people who are comfortable, please, ask the question.  What harm is it?  You may not get the job.  That is your only loss.  Would you want to work for that company anyway?  I wouldn’t, but why am I afraid to ask about “D-P” benefits?  If I had all the answers I’d be rich.  We must remember though, that nearly all potential employers will see you asking the question equal to you coming out.  I did it and so would you.

The interview ended on a good note.  She understood from my tone that it was not necessarily a gay friendly environment.  I feel good about the result because I would not want another person to experience what I did.  That leads me to this question, how would you ask a potential employer about domestic partner benefits?

Unfortunately, in this economy airline travel is week along with the airlines’ ability to hire new employees.  My question to any current or former employee of American Airlines is this, how have your experiences with workplace equality?

American Airlines Named One of Nation’s ‘Best Places for Diverse Managers to Work’ by DiversityMBA Magazine – Apr 09, 2009.

Pros:

• Shows a company in favor of LGBT rights.
• Shows generosity in offering domestic partner benefits.
• Makes a company more attractive to the LGBT community.
• Helps retain LGBT employees.
• Shows that a company is liberal.
• Displays that a company cares about all of its employees.
• Shows that a company offers top-tier benefits.
• Helps the company gain exposure in the LGBT community (by advertising, review, or the HRC’s Corporate Equality Index).
• Shows a company that is in touch with their employee’s needs.
• Shows a company that has close ties to its local community.

Cons:

• Shows that a company is liberal.
• Some will see the company as anti-family and/or anti-religion.
• Could turn off homophobes.

Let’s look at two cases.  Like I said yesterday, from a cursory Google search it appears that it’s mostly universities, states, and government contractors that offer domestic partner benefits.  From that search we are looking at two organizations, the University of Pennsylvania (Penn) and SAIC.  Penn has been operating as a college/university since the mid 18th century.  They have offered same-sex domestic partner benefits for the last 9.5 years (possibly 13 years; unsure from evidence).  Penn has about 4,000 faculty plus 12,000 additional staff and is based in Philadelphia.  SAIC is 10bn USD Fortune 500 defense contractor with 45,000 employees and has been operating in the US, based in San Diego, for 40 years.  They offer same and opposite sex domestic partner benefits.  I have no current ties to either organization and chose them for their domestic partnership benefits visibility.

Both organizations require that domestic partners not be married nor domestically partnered to anyone else.  The employee and partner cannot be blood relatives and must live together.  The couple also must be financially dependent on each other.  These sound like very reasonable rules.  Penn does not seem to have one restriction that SAIC does.  SAIC requires the couple to live together for at least a year.

The length of co-habitation requirement is not uncommon.  Unfortunately, the law pushes companies in that direction because there is no single legal definition of what a domestic partner is.  It takes a weekend in Vegas for a straight couple to get married.  Is that fair?  They can get benefits after a one night stand, but we sometimes have to wait.  It is much better to be able to get full benefits after a wait than no benefits… ever.  SAIC takes domestic partner benefits one step forward from Penn in offering domestic partner benefits, under the exact same rules, to opposite sex partners.  It’s really based on “fairness.”  Honestly, if you’re straight, get married to get your 1,016 or so federal rights.  There we are: two organizations, two different definitions of domestic partner, two different lists of requirements to prove the existence of a domestic partner.

Until we have equal rights under the law, we will have to let men in suits define what a loving partner is to us.  We don’t place limits on who can get married, so why should we have to set limits on who can be considered a domestic partner?  Obviously these corporations and universities do not want people taking advantage of domestic partner benefits, so what stops straight people from getting hitched just for the benefits?  As a final word I will just say that I am glad that some companies are willing to stick their necks out by offering domestic partner benefits.  I thank them for recognizing the LGBT community and helping support us.  Let’s hope it will get better in the future.

UPenn: Domestic Partner Affidavit, Same-sex Domestic Partner Benefits

SAIC: Registered Domestic Partners

Today is different.  I am totally out on the Internet.  My website (not this one), blog, and podcast are titled by my own name.  I am gay on facebook, myspace, etc. and answer all questions asked.  I do admit though, that I use a gmail account on my resume (C.V.).  It justifies to me that my work and personal lives do not cross.  I don’t “do gay things” at work and don’t go ’round the social media circuit during business hours.  As far as I know, any Google’ing that has revealed my sexual orientation at any place of employment was due to me making a large gaffe which I knew about and was comfortable with.  In fact, I was trying, ever so awkwardly to come out anyway.

What should you do?  If you are afraid of being outed at work or while searching for a new job, you must ask yourself why are you on these sites?  It’s like sex, abstinence is best.  Keeping your profile open only to those you let in is a good way to keep your content private, but it also makes the use of these sites pretty restricted.  You could also use an alias, but that violates the user agreements of at lease facebook and myspace, if not others.  I personally don’t care if someone finds me.  In fact, I would rather not work for an employer that had a problem with me making commentary on gay topics.

We live in a digital age where people can do just about anything online.  Finding an old coworker or schoolmate is easier than ever.  Hell, I found my “first” on myspace.  With this we lose a great amount of anonymity.  Potential employers can use this to help make a decision on one’s character when making an employment decision.  That would be perfectly legal.  One issue does come up with doing these searches is getting false-positive hits.  There are two of me in this city.  One pays his cable TV bill (me); the other does not.  We have been mixed up that way as I’m sure many people have been online.

The moral of the story is this, “as ye sow, so shall ye reap.”  Whether you like it or not, the social web is making you less able to be in the closet at work.  Honestly, I don’t believe that many people will search the web for your name before or during employment.  That has not been my experience.  People only do it after I say that I have a podcast.  That is my way of outing myself to some people.  What have you done?  What do you do?  Leave a comment, please.

In coming out we are the ones whose feelings get hurt and it is some of our co-workers that end up hating us.  Let me stereotype for a moment because we know it as true.  Who are the people most likely to be disgusted at our “lifestyles”?  Latinos, African-Americans, religious zealots (the high and mighty), the closet cases, etc.  Of course not all people in these groups abhor homosexuality, but honestly, I wish I didn’t have to say that these stereotypes hold true.  Let’s not forget that all gay guys love Broadway musicals.

That said, how do we handle coming out at work?  You can have one of several attitudes.

1. F- ‘em.  I don’t care how they see me.
2. F- ‘em.  Let them fire me.
3. I can’t stand this anymore.  I just have to come out.
4. Uh… this is a bad idea, but I need to be true to myself.
5. No way in hell!

To close, I will leave you with my tip of the day: be prepared when coming out at work to refute the typical gay stereotypes.  Also, be observant of your co-workers and try to guess how they will respond.  Some might surprise you.  Remember, it may be a fight that ends up being worth it.

We need a place to let it all hang out.  Share that Friday after work conversation here.  Let’s all learn from each other by sharing information and experiences.  That’s why I’m trying this out.  Sure, from time to time you will see the occasional legal article, but you are free to respond any way you want.  It is all up to you.  Contribute, complete the survey, etc. so we can see where to go!  See below for a list of features on this site.

Features:

• A relaxed, anonymous (short of a court order) place to discuss homophobia in the workplace
• It’s free! (guaranteed)
• So far, no ads!  (can’t necessarily guarantee this)
• Site discussion board
• Blog as the main site (WordPress)
• Guest bloggers
• Anonymous blog posting, albeit limited
• Blog account creation recommended to become a guest blogger
• Full OpenID login support
• Secure blog login via HTTPS
• Comment approval:
• Anonymous comments are approved once (per email address) are approved for life
• OpenID comments automatically approved
• Blog accounts allowed to comment without moderation
• Blog spam protection
• Comments go through WordPress.com’s Akismet
• Captcha verification to create an account
• Polls
• Surveys
• Blog admin (jason) with strong ties to the blogging and podcasting community
• Blog admin with 13 years of web administration experience to protect users
• Blog admin is a Linux+ Certified Professional
• Self-hosted
• Blog post sharing integration (ShareThis!)
• Facebook group

• No discrimination while trying to gain employment.
• No discrimination while maintaining employment.
• No assumption of HIV status.
• No bias on the basis of cultural mores or stereotypes.
• No preferential treatment over other employees.
• Equal pay.
• A solid, blanket definition of the term domestic partner.
• Equal treatment of a domestic partner as husband/wife.
• Domestic partner health care benefits including health, wellness, mental health, and dental care.
• Domestic partner child health care benefits.
• Employee child health care benefits.
• Domestic partner supplemental life insurance benefits.
• Domestic partner supplemental AD&D (accidental death and dismemberment) benefits.
• Domestic partner supplemental short and long term disability benefits.
• Domestic partners treated as a spouse when beneficiaries of life insurance and AD&D policies and disability benefits.
• Domestic partners treated as a spouse when named beneficiary of TSPs, 401(k)s, 403(b)s, and pensions.
• Benefit “open season” when criteria for domestic partnership is gained such as when a couple marries.
• Benefit “open season” in dissolution of domestic partnerships.
• Bereavement policies equal to those married (ex. death of an in-law or child of domestic partner).
• Equal childcare benefits.
• Equal treatment under FSA/HSA (flexible spending account/health savings account) IRS rules.
• Tax exempt domestic partner benefits.
• Equal rights granted to domestic partners and their children under the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, as amended.
• The ability to form LGBTI support groups to help people cope with coming out at work.
• The ability to give compulsory seminars to address LGBT issues for non-LGBT employees.
• The addition of sexual orientation and identity to EOE (equal opportunity) statements.
• Amendments to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Equal Pay Act of 1963 to include make illegal discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and sexual identity.
• Corporate support of the HRC’s National Coming Out Day (October 11) to welcome people (with open arms) to come out.

What other rights can you think of that we are missing in the workplace?  Leave a comment!